Remember the Mayans? Remember when they predicted the world
was going to end on December 12, 2012? When I heard that, my first thought was,
“Oh my god! I never read Moby Dick!”
I
planned to read it someday—and lots of other classic books. I didn’t
know I had a specific and literal deadline. So as the clock ticked down to
doomsday, I opened up Moby Dick and
started reading. Barely made it past “Call me Ishmael.”
Fortunately for me (and everyone else), the Mayans misread the very calendar they invented. The year 2012 rolled into 2013. And so on. Five years later I still hadn’t read Moby Dick. I had to face the truth: I
was a classics slacker. The Classics Slacker.
Maybe you’re a classics slacker, too.
Here’s how to tell: When you come across those lists of “100 Greatest Books of
All Time,” are you shocked to discover that you’ve only read three? Or maybe
you’ve read ten, but can’t remember anything except carriage rides, bonnets,
and couples exchanging meaningful glances over embroidery.
If this sounds like you, and it probably does, now you can throw off the shackles of your classics-slacking shame and self-loathing. Why? Because The Classics Slacker is reading the classics so you don't have to. Honest. Everything you need to know about the “Great Books” is covered in each volume. No longer will you feel unworthy
every time you encounter a list of “Books You Should Have Read or You Are an
Idiot.”